Pentecost XV: What Forgiveness Isn't

An ancient Jewish story tells of a king who decided to visit the prison in his kingdom to find out what sort of people were being incarcerated.   He took a seat at the centre of the building, with the prisoner cells all round, and interviewed them one at a time.  The king asked the first to tell his story and he assured the monarch that he had been framed, was completely innocent, and deserved to be released. The second prisoner essentially said the same, as the chain of prisoners whose interviews followed. Finally, the last prisoner was brought before the king.  The king said I am sure that you too will tell me you were unjustly charged and deserve commutation of the rest of your sentence.  No, said the last prisoner, I am an abject sinner, was a thief and a scoundrel, I did the crime with which I was charged, and, though I've learned my lesson, I am justly serving out my sentence.

After the final interview was over and prisoner returned to his cell, the monarch summoned the jailer and told him to release the last prisoner.  There was a great hue and cry from the rest of the prisoners demanding to know why this person, who had admitted to his crime and was willing to serve out his sentence, was being released.  The king told the rest of the prisoners that he was getting the man out of there so he wouldn't contaminate the holy people who had been unjustly incarcerated with him!

The forgiveness extended by the king reminds us of the importance of a realistic and honest sense of self, the call not to pass judgement or hold grudges, and the crucial role of forgiveness in Christian life.  We have been given, Saint Paul says, the ministry of reconciliation.  That depends on the art of forgiveness.

Let me suggest what I believe are four common misconceptions about forgiveness:

(1) True repentance is required before forgiveness can be offered.  No, forgiveness is unilateral and unconditional. (Did Saul apologize to St. Stephen?  Did Pilate apologize to Jesus?)

(2) Real Christians forgive, forget and move on.  No, hurt and pain don't just disappear.  They must be named and owned.  Forgiveness is not denial.

(3) Forgiving 77 or 490 times (depending on which manuscript you translate) must mean being a doormat.  No, true forgiveness does not anticipate the tolerance of abuse.  Bad conduct must have real consequences, and the child of God must stand up for self and others.

(4) We forgive as a way to get back at other people.  Didn't Oscar Wilde say forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much?  Didn't Saint Paul say that forgiving an offender is like heaping fiery coals on his head?   Yes, but we do not understand that as a ringing endorsement of vengeance but rather a pre-emptive strike against it.  In fact, the Gospel reason for forgiveness is to reflect the generosity of God and God's lavish, unconditional pardon granted to each of us.  (Do you remember the crazy Father in the prodigal story?  That's God!)   Forgiveness is a gift of grace that transforms relationships.  It is never payback.

Our Gospel today [Mt. 18:21-35] speaks powerfully of the need for us to forgive others out of our gratitude to God for acceptance of us, and in recognition of God's love of all humanity. So may it be.