I would be that many Americans really do not believe that Jesus was a Jewish rabbi. Maybe he was a Brit who spouted Elizabethan "King James" English. Or maybe he was a blond blue-eyed Scandinavian sheep herder. Or even a conservative evangelical American. Maybe..but no. He was a Jewish rabbi functioning in Palestinian culture within the Roman Empire in the first century. Although he was very critical of their hypocrisy, Jesus was theologically a Pharisee. He bought into their teachings on angelology, messianism, resurrection, the afterlife and eschatology. He also followed rabbinic teaching practices. Understanding those ground rules makes it much easier to avoid misinterpreting his concerns and utterances. One of those methods was to answer a question with a question. Another was to use puns. Read Genesis in the Hebrew and you will find puns by the score! Another technique was to absolutize. Elsewhere Jesus said we must be perfect like his Heavenly Father. How can a human being follow that? Impossible, but it is a goal to seek. I think outlawing divorce is a similar kind of utterance; he points us towards an ideal, without expecting people to remain in abusive, loveless or completely broken-down unions.
In today's gospel [Mark 10: 2-16] Jesus, at first blush, appears to outlaw divorce. This passage is adopted out of context by the Roman Church, conservative Campbellites, and other groups, to teach that Jesus forbade termination of a marriage. But consider that Matthew has Jesus add that divorce remains ok when the wife is guilty of sexual misconduct. Mark also contains a prohibition against a woman divorcing, even though only a man could initiate divorce in Jewry! If Jesus had intended a hard and fast rule, Saint Paul never heard of it because he adds yet another ground for divorce, that the spouse is not a Christian. So much for any blanket prohibition of divorce.
Jesus was always, always concerned with people, not rules. Here is what I think he was concerned about. The underlying law appears in Deuteronomy 24: 1-4 which states a man may get rid of his wife by giving her a get or writ of dismissal. If she is lucky enough to remarry, but then a second husband also divorces her, the first husband cannot re-marry her. By Jesus' time, the reality was that women who were divorced and did not have a wealthy family would have to turn to begging or prostitution.
Remember that marriage began in the fourth millenium BCE in the Middle East and consisted of legal contract transferring the woman as chattel, as personal property, from the father to husband, sealed by some consideration or " bride price." She had no rights in the marriage, no way to avoid abuse or mistreatment, and was subject to being out on the street at a moment's notice. I think that must have been Jesus' concern here -- speaking out in a patriarchal society to protest sexism, inequality, and the abuse of women.
How do we do our best to approximate what Jesus is calling for -- healthy marital relationships?
In the Roman Communion, those wishing to remarry must arrange for the church to call a trial, a tribunal, and attempt to prove there was no first marriage. How insulting to people's intelligence.
In the Orthodox Communion, the parties must make a public confession of regret for the failure of the first marriage. In our Anglican Communion, counselling is required before the second marriage to help ensure that issues that contributed to the failure of the first marriage will not be introduced into that next marriage. The bishop is to be satisfied on that score and other issues like adequate provision for the children, then grants consent for the re-marriage. Our process is sensible, respectful of the Sacrament, and always focused on helping the couple succeed in the new marital commitment.
In the Episcopal Church, we also acknowledge and honour the full humanity of gay and lesbian Christians and support those couples who seek to make before God a lifetime, exclusive marital commitment. We are not into judging and excluding other people from our faith communities. Never is it a sin to be who God created you.
In everything we try to err on the side of love, because everything Jesus did was about love and acceptance of all God's children. And after all, God is love.
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